Resilience is more than just the latest buzzword; it is a mental tool that enables us to recover from setbacks and adapt to challenging circumstances.

Given the ever-increasing academic and social pressures our children face, resilience is arguable one of the most important life-skills they can have.

But how can we create healthy habits and routines to help strengthen our children's resilience?

Here are ways you can help your child B.O.U.N.C.E back from failure.

1. Instil growth-oriented Beliefs
   In her book The Upside of Stress, Stanford psychologist Kelly McGonigal argues that how we think about stress matters. Rather than seeing stress as something to be reduced and managed, we can learn to see the good in stress; that is, it can help us to focus on what needs to be done.
   
   By helping our children think more positively about stress and the challenges they face, we can help to instil a strong sense of self-belief and confidence in them.
   
   

   Heading out for a walk, jog or just to feed the fish in a nearby pond can do wonders for their mood and sense of wellbeing.

2. Head Outdoors
   Heading outdoors for a dose of fresh air, exercise and sunshine may seem obvious but many people overlook this, especially when the exams draw near. Children need balance in their lives. Heading out for a walk, jog or just to feed the fish in a nearby pond can do wonders for their mood and sense of wellbeing. So when the going gets tough, get going outdoors!
3. Cultivate Usefulness
   All of us need a sense of competence and a sense of usefulness to thrive. Yes, even children! Studies show that children who help out in keeping the house neat and tidy develop higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and are able to delay gratification, all of which contribute to academic success.
   
   But is that all there is to life? Is it solely about achieving good grades and into a good school? The answer is not likely to come easily, but we can begin by seeing ourselves as guides on our children’s journey to discovering their purpose and passion in life.
4. Prioritise Night (Sleep)
   Why is sleep important? Studies have shown that kids who regularly get sufficient sleep have stronger attention span, learn better at school, and enjoy better mental and physical health.
   
   In the context of ever-increasing screen usage, it can be tough to get our children to disconnect from their devices. But it is important that we can set them up for a good night’s rest by setting a clear limit on screen use before bed.
   
   

   With a diminishing sense of connectedness and community, our children may experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.

5. Foster Community
   In a time of COVID-19 restrictions, it can be hard to establish and maintain strong ties with friends and even family members. With a diminishing sense of connectedness and community, our children may lose a chunk of their usual support network, and experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.
   
   It is thus all the more necessary for us to be mindful of their social needs and to create opportunities to grow existing friendships and to build new ones.
6. Master Emotions
   What does emotions have to do with anything? Apparently quite a lot. When your child understands the big and often overwhelming emotions they feel, they can learn ways to cope with those emotions.
   
   You may think that it’s a touchy-feely topic, and the process of dissecting and digging into the world of emotions is often messy, but the end result of our children gaining a better understanding of themselves is well worth it!

As parents, we share a universal desire to help our children succeed, but what our children need more than ever is to learn to fail well. While it can be painful for us to watch them fall, we can set them up to better handle disappointment by cultivating the above 6 factors in their lives.

© 2021 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

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