How to Never Fall Out of Love with Your Spouse

Five tips that can make a world of difference in your marriage

By Focus on the Family Singapore | 2 May, 2018

When the excitement of the wedding has tailed off and you begin to adjust to life together as husband and wife, here are five tips that will keep the spark of love, romance and passion alive in your marriage.

Stay Connected

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires effort.

Lasting romance is more about caring and communicating than it is about feelings. Do whatever it takes to stay connected. No matter how long you’re married, set aside at least fifteen minutes before bedtime to bond. Put aside all mobile devices but don’t use the time to discuss day-to-day concerns. If you don’t feel like talking, just cuddle together on the sofa. Let it just be a time of enjoying each other’s company.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires effort.

Give Thanks

The secret to staying together does not lie in having similar interests or personalities; rather, it is about cultivating a heart of thankfulness — even for your differences. Recognise the ways your spouse cares for you every single day, and express your gratitude.

Tell your husband you admire him for his level-headedness when discussing a problem, for instance. Or thank your wife when she does something thoughtful for you.

On special occasions, you can even make a thanksgiving list, listing down the things you love about your spouse, and then sharing them with him or her. This exercise not only helps you to be more aware of the good in your marriage, it will also enable you to see your spouse as a gift.

The secret to staying together lies in cultivating a heart of thankfulness.

Take Stock

Sit down regularly to discuss the decisions you need to make, or just to raise anything that may be weighing on your minds. Maybe he’s worried about finances while you may have concerns about your ability to balance work and family.

This is also a good time to sync up your calendars and plan for the future, such as scheduling date nights and family vacations. Take time to talk about where you want to be as a couple 10 or 20 years down the road, then work out a plan to make it happen.

Look Back

Recollecting special memories is of utmost importance. Reflecting on how far you have come as a couple helps you to look forward to a better future.

Make time to reminisce the wonderful times you’ve spent together, and even the difficulties or challenges you’ve faced – though painful, they can help you realise how you have grown stronger individually and as a couple.

Express Affection

Never hold back on the hugs, hand-holding and kisses to say, "Thank you for dinner", or "I appreciate you". Reach for your spouse’s hand every chance you’ve got when you’re in the car or watching a movie together.

A wedding vow is a promise you’ve made to commit to each other, no matter what life brings. May each wedding anniversary you celebrate together be a reminder of this precious promise you’ve made to each other for a lifetime.


© 2018 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

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